poor baby samuel!:(

While im sitting in my comfortable living room, checking my facebook and reading blogs, i came across this blog of a man who has just had a baby. I would explain more but im sure I wouldnt do this subject any justice.
Cant believe how hopefull this man is after reading his blog, I hope everything turns out okay for this baby! i hope he makes it through!


http://lothblogs.wordpress.com/2010/12/08/no-power-in-words/

my blood - please help.

sometimes in life you realize that everything that you have is nothing im comparison to your family. After everything is said and done, the only things that matter in your life is your blood.
Im hopeing that someone on here can help me with this.. maybe one of you can relate to this situation and help me on what to do, because im lost. I also think that it is ironic that after this just happend to me less than an hour ago, i get an e-mail saying that i should write a blog. So maybe this is a sign of something.

my brother is probably the most important thing to me..
he has bipolar. he was diagnosed about a three years ago..
and now, were finding out that he might have OCD.. but not just any OCD, HOCD.. its a type of OCD that makes you do certain things becuase you are paranoid that you might be gay. so you test yourself constantly, you do things that you believe "prevent you from being gay.." this type of OCD is real and its something that truley breaks you down. epecially when you know in your heart that you truley feel a certain way.
im scared becuase i would never want him to do something that would hurt himself. but he said to me tonight that he doesnt know what to do anymore. After i said, "please dont do anything stupid."
i think i need therapy myself.

i hope you guys can take this in open arms and give me advice without judging this whole situation cause im really opening up here.
thank you everyone for listening to me.

with love and all the hope in the world,
stephanie.

UGHH SOOOO FUSTRATINGGGGGG!!!!!

soo i havent posted in a while, but i felt like this is something that i need to relieve my stress with right now. haha.


you have no idea how fustrating it is, so get a promotion and be really happy about it. but at the same have someone trying to crush you. i am trying soo hard to move up at work, to try to get a managers position but have someone pushing you down! UGHH im soo fustrated, i dont know what to do to fix this mess.

heres what happend:

i work at charllotte russe, and i recently got asked to be the stock specialist. i also told my manager that i was intersted in getting the position of one of the manager who recently found another job. BUT becuase power is such an important thing to people these days, this girl that works with me, has to pull a hissy fit when she overheard someone talking about me possibly getting the position. goes around tells everything that im possibly getting the position, making it a huge deal, so now i look like the bad person. because i expressed my interest in getting this position. HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS....
i could do one of three things..

- talk to my manager and be like, " look i dont know why this is such a huge issue because nothign is set in stone right now, but i promise you that i am not the one going around saying anything. and i appologize, i shouldnt have said anything about this position."

- work my butt off and show them that i seriously deserve this position and just keep my mouth shut, and hope for the best.

- talk to the girl, and be like, " look, i honestly dont want there to be drama between me and you, im sorry i mentioned anything to you, i honestly shouldnt have, i got excited about the idea of it, and nothing was really said, but i thought that i could have confided in you as my friend to tell you some exciting news. but its okay, i understand your fustrations, and i am sorry."


WHAT DO I DOO!??!?!? ADVICE PLEASE PLEASE PLEAS PLEASE WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?

WITH LOVE, AND UNFORTUNATLY FUSTRATION,

Stephanie<3

MY DREAM COME TRUE!!

ahhhh so i havent done a new post in FAR FAR FAR too long! so this might be a long one! so brace yourselves! lots and lots to talk about!

soo. once again let me welcome my new followers! yayy!!! it makes me soo excited when people follow me!! i love reaching more people! talking about things that i think everyone should know about! so thanks for joining and strap your seat belts for this long and adventuerous ride!;)
sooo this week in my hometown is this thing called, yankee homecoming, its when teenagers and adults all the way to cute little old couples gather together in whats the cutest littlest town in the world! that i love sooooo soo much! newburyport! Newburyport is probably one of my favorite places in the world! alot of people around here share the same feelings! as well as my older brother! who is awesome i might add.. alwasy gives me good advice and always seems to know the right thing to say at the right time. the other night on our way downtown, i started talking to him about my dreams and what i plan on doing with the rest of my life, and all that good stuff. like i said he always has the right thing to say.. he said to me, " it doesnt matter what your dream is, or how you plan on getting there, just remember this one important thing, nothing can stop you from persueing your dreams. The pain of not knowing is far worse then the pain of failing." this really does mean a lot to me, because hes right! if you never try and you grow up just kind of flying by then you will never know what you are capable of, but if you try and you fail, well atleast you know you tried, and you could keep trying! so i want all of you to take this advice!!! if you have a dream what is stopping you from getting there! nothing, you can do anythning with this life! whatever it may be! i want you guys to be inspired and have soo much will power and just be overflowing with excitment!!!!

i pray that you guys find the willpower to make your dreams come true! dont let ANYTHING stop you! i know im not going too!i pray that all the people struggling and hurting right now find some strength to make it through ! your dreams can come true if you want them too!

something that has inspired me! one of my boyfriends friends has his own clothing line and is in a really cool band and all that good stuff, he sells really cool t-shirts and cool bags and all that good stuff! you NEED to check it out, its called wear for changes! http://www.wearforchanges.bigcartel.com/products heres the link!!! im pretty sure that like 10 percent goes to some charity or something! HOW COOL IS THAT?!
this is my bag that i bought and i LOVE! its soo cool!

YOUR GOAL FOR TODAY:make some short term and long term goals for yourself! and try to think of some ways to achieve them! nothing shall stop you! go for your goals!

i hope that you guys have a good day today, dont let anything get you down today!

with love,
stephanie

NEW FOLLOWERS!

Welcome new followers!!! Thank you for joining my way of bringing a little bit more sunshine into your day! I hope that you enjoy reading my day to day adventures as much as I enjoy writing them for you to read!

Your goal today: tell someone you apreciate them for being in your life. And thank them for being there when you need them to be!

Remember; everyone is important no matter who you are. I pray that everyone feels important and that all those people out there who feel line a nobody, your everyone to me.

P.s sorry if this is horribly written I'm on an iPod! Ha ha

With love,
Stephanie

CUPPIECAKES!

sooo this week me and my boyfriend went too marthas vinyard, not only did we enjoy the wonderfull views of a beatifull private beach that we had all to ourselves; but we enjoyed delicious cupcakes at the wonderfull cupcakes store right around the corner in edgar town, E`s Cupcakes.
we walked into the store and asked about all the different types of frostings and cakes and the wonderfull lady behind the corner asked us if we would like to try some frosting! and of course we diddnt refuse! we asked how many we could try and she then asked us how many fingers we have! we tried every single frosting in that little cupcake store! all the way down to peanut butter! it was soo yummy! it made me feel all warm inside i loved it!

i hope that everyone gets to feel as warm inside as i did about these cupcakes! they were awesome! i never would have went into the cupcake store if i wasnt looking hard enough. its soo little!

YOUR GOAL FOR TODAY: notice the little things in life, instead of only taking in the big picture remember all the little ones along the way.

with love,
stephanie

Fast update!

Soo i went to mart has vineyard these past two days with my boyfriend so thats why I haven't been writing! And I don't have much time to do one right now so Promise there will be one later! :)


With love,
Stephanie

RANDOM DELIGHT!

These are the wonderfull flowers that my wonderfull boyfriend brought for me and suprised me! you shoulda seen my faceee!!!:))))) I LOVE random delights, and i believe that everyone deserves a random delight each and everyday of their lives! i hope that each and everyone of you gets a random delight today and the next day and the next!!! remember, the more random delights you bring the more you will recieve!

i pray that the people who are hurt and down and feel like they cant make it anyore receive at least one random delight today to show them they can make it through!

with love and flowers!:),
stephanie

ALL ABOUT YOU!

i think the thing that i hate most about my job is the fact that they are constantly pushing you to look like a certain thing, like one certain model just so they can show you off and people will buy your clothes. i hate that. becuase i am the complete opposite, i love being independent and wearing things that people wouldnt normally wear becuae i dont care what anyone thinks!!!! ha
i think the biggest thing that i struggled with in highschool was getting people to accept me. I feel like a lot of teens in highschool are that way, kids are soo unaccepting.. and it hurts other kids, if people just accepted who they were, everyone would be so much happier!!! we need to love eachother. and love ourselves, without love in your life, its unhappy, and you shouldnt let anyone or anything stand in your way of happiness!
i hate when people say, oh this persons so ugly. i dont think that one person in this world is ugly. god made us all beautifull in our own ways, we need to trust and love ourselfs and feel good in our bodies!
your goal for today: LOVE who you are. you are beautifull in your own way, dont let anyone tell you any different. Let your heart scream with happiness and overflow with joy, becuase you deserve it. love yourself.

i pray that anyone who hurts themselves becuase they dont feel beautifull or good enough or its suffering in a abusive relationship, all of those people who are told they are ugly.. i pray that you believe these words, and that im telling you that you are SO SO SO beautifull! i see that you are beautifull, because you truley are!

with love,
stephanie

make new friends but keep the old, one is siler and the others gold?

why cant it be like in kindergarden, when none of the stupid highschool drama that goes on in lives of girls my age ever happend, when everyone was friendly with everyone and played with everyone.. where did those days go? make new friends and keep the old? its SO hard to make friends at this age, people are soo quick to judge, soo quick to put up a wall..

it sucks more than ever right now that this is supposed to be the best summer of my life, but its the worst. i wish more than anything right now that i had a best friend, i have noone to go shopping with, noone to tell things too and to cry too, i want that more than anything, and its just not there for me right now... :/ i guess ill never have one.. and its not my fault, i dont wanna be friends with any of the friends i had, becuase they turned their backs on me, were disloyal to me, and hurt me in a way i never thought that i would be hurt. i miss them more than anything, but i dont want to care about people who dont care about me.
i hate that this is such a sad blog, because ussually my blogs are ussually really happy, and up beat, but im just not very happy today...
i hate my job, ive never felt more talked down too and disrespected in my life.. i hate it there, i want to leave there so bad.

i feel fat, and i dont feel any motivation to do anything about it, even though i wish i coul more than anything.

its just not a good day today:/
and on top of all of this, noone even ever reads this, sooo.. i guess i really am alone.

i pray that everyone in the world that feels the way that i do, just know that you arent alone. that im right there with you. and that nothing is ever that bad.


p.s sorry i havent been writing a lot.. lots been going on.


with love,

stephanie

IS THIS A SIGN!?!?

so i was sitting on the train with my boyfriend in boston yesterday.. and i know i havent been on here a lot recently, but i did graduate a couple days ago!!!! woo!!!:) anywho, ive been kind of lost in what i wanna do next year, as of right now, i have no plans, im not enrolled in any school or anything, and i know, this sounds like rediculous like, WHAT AM I DOING? but i guess i have a good reason. im not really sure what i wanna do.. but anwyays, back to the train, so that doesnt seem completly irrelevant. haha. so yeah, i was sitting on the train, and i look up, and you know the signs in the train that have like advertisments? well, im sure ive mentioned this before, but i want to be a make-up artist, i mean it just fits me so perfectly, im an artist, and i love love making people happy, and i lvoe doing make-up. SO, why not? right, im deffinatly not one of those people who wanna sit in a cubicle for the rest of my life. i want to go out there and experience new things, make a difference in peoples lives! SO finally back to the train part.. hahaha so i look up, and the first thing i see it..... ELIZABETH GRADY it says, this is where carears start. for those of you who have no idea what kind of school ELIZABETH GRADY is, its a estitician school, for make-up artists, masousses, and estiticains, anyways, so maybe this is a sign that i need to go for my dreams and not to let anytyhing hold me back!
ahhhh!

soo for all of you people sitting there, reading this thinking, man, i have this dream, and im sitting here not doing anytyhing about it, what are you doing girl/boy! GO FOR IT! NOTHING SHALL HOLD YOU BACK!

question of the day: whats your biggest dream, and how are you planning on persuing it?

with love, stephanie

IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE?

so i started this blog exepecting a lot, i knew that itd be hard to actually have people isten to what i say.. but ive had this for a good couple of months now.. and only 3 followers one of them being me.

i almost feel like this reflects on my home life too. now that highschool is over, it feels amazing its like, now i can start over, i dont have to be put under some stupid expectation that the people at highschool have put me under. i mean granted im not like a nerd, but im not one of those plastic girls, you know? but thats besides the point, i want to create who i really am for people. i want people too look at me for who i actually am! blahh i guess i thought this site would help, but its not really how i expected, im slowly losing hope on here. if theres anyone out there, let me know! please.

i pray that all the people in the world that feel lonley right now, know that im sitting there right with them, that they arent alone, that im always here to listen.

with love,
stephanie

FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY

i cannotttt believe that in 4 hours, im going to be completly finished with highschool! Onto the big scary world for me.. ahh that just scared tha bajeebers outa me! ha ha ha
i remember my very first day of highschool, i was only the wee little age of 14 ha! thats so long ago! anyways, my mommy dropped me off, and i said to her, " mom i cant believe im in highschool now!" and she said, " slow down, it flys by!" and who knew... MOMMA WAS RIGHT! man, did highschool fly by. i am going to miss it a lot though. i mean of course i wont miss doing the homework and getting up early and all of that fun stuff! but of course the people i see tommorow i probably will never see them again after graduation. I mean sure, ill probably see them at coffee shops in boston or at the store when im shopping for groceries for my family. but i guess what really really scares me, is that this means i am no longer a kid, a teenager.. i mean yes i am obviously a teenager still. but i am now a young adult. SCARY!

ANYWHO
my favorite highschool memory.. hmm let me see..

i honestly love color day. its so much fun. people get all painted in the school colors and we have a competition between all of the classes to see who can do the best.. i mean of course the seniors win every single year, but its always fun just to rub it in all the underclassmens faces! aahhaha no im kiding i love the underclassmen, they are all really nice, and ill miss them all too!

anyways im going to bed, i cannot wait untill tommorow were doing a class prank, but i cant put it on here yet! ill have to wait to post pictures of it too! hwhehe

did you do any senior pranks when you graduated? do tell!

with huge love,
stephanie

AHH ALMOST DONE EVERYONE PRAY FOR ME!

ALMOST DONE WITH SCHOOL!!! today and tommorow are my last two days!!! ahhh soo exciting! just thought id do a quick little post before im off to my last couple days of highschool!

i hope everyone is doing well, and i pray for all the little children who cant go through school because of their family situations!

whats your favorite highschool memory!? tell me! id LOVE to know!!

ill fill you in on mine a little later, im gonna be late! AHHHHHHH

with love,
stephanie

IM A NERDDDDDDD.

okay so i just realized that i havent updated you all on how my interview went! HOW SILLY OF ME!

wellll I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND I LOVE IT!
its awesome, i love working because its almost like shopping every single day, HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!?!?!?!?

and everyone seems to really like me there, which i loveee....

on a even BETTER NOTE: I GRADUATE IN 7 DAYS!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oh my goodness you wont even believe how much i cannot wait.. haha its like im counting down the days which is horribe, but heyyyy who cahresss riight!!???

also, who else in new england is like, WHERE THE HECK IS THE WARM WEATHER! im fahreazzzinggggggg brrrrr.. ha ha ha

tommorow is also the art festival which is advertised around the school with one of my paintings as the poster!!!!!! here it is! and me of course.. heheheheh i LOVE IT!





OH and heres my charlotte russe name tag.. SUPER COOL! hehe i know im such a nerd. BUT WHATEVAHHH i think its cool!!! hehe i love it when all my friends come to visit me! its soo funnn!



i feel soo thankfull that i have this job and i hate to think about all of the homeless people suffering and cant find a job to support their family..i feel like a lot of the time we take for granted the good things that we have!


anyways, im off to rest my sleepy little head! thank goodness i dont have to wake up too early tommorow! i wish all of you a goodnights rest and that you have many funfilled dreams!



with love and hugs,
stephanie

please pray for me!

I guess you never realize what youve got untill its gone..
i am so thankfull that i have such a great family that can support eachother during this hard time..
i dont think ill ever be able to go back to wendys again, because for me, i associate place with memories...
today i was having a not exactally a "nice" lunch with my boyfriend, but we were still eating something! at wendys.. now let me fill you in on exactaly what happend last night..

so i pretty much live with my boyfriend now at his house, so i always have my car with me because he just totaled his, and i let him use my car every so often when he needs it... well his parents have been away all weekend so i was there with him... 1:00 rolls around... the phone rings. its corey ryans younger brother...
" dude can you come get me im wicked drunk im hammered.. im puking everywhere!" not so pleasant. i know.. anywho.. so i let him go use my car to go pick up his drunken brother... keep in mind that i had to work at 7 the following morning.. three rolls around and im still awake worried sick about his little brother because he had not stopped puking.. so finally he fell asleep, and then.. BOOOMMM, we hear a loud noise downstars. my boyfriend RUNS downstairs.. and guess who it is.. two of ryans little brothers friends.. they wanted to stay there for the night, but we diddnt want to be resposible for all of these underaged drunk kids.. so we said no of course.. so that was that and we went back to bed.. i wake up the next morning to orange juice slpashed ALLL OVER MY CAR... i was not too happy to say the least... i contemplated calling the cops.. but what proof did i have!?


anyways, so back to the whole wendys thing.. so we are at wendys and my phoen rings.. i was expecting it to be one of the boys who put orange juice all over my car... but nope, it was my grandmother...

what happend next was so unexpected,
she told me my aunt had passed away....

i LOVED my aunt, she was my idol, my strength the person who i knew i could ALWAYS turn too no matter what.. she was like a second mom to me.. we were extremly close.. i lost it.. i diddnt know what to do...

anyways, i pray that all of the people who have lost someone or has a family member who is sick that they have an easy grieving process and if they have cancer or any type or illness that it is cured..

<3RIP AUNTY BEV I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS COULD EXPLAIN<3


with all my love and prayers...
stephanie lynn

HELLO EVERYONE! im soooo sorry i havent been writing more often ive just been really busy and what not! but i got paid this week, THANK GOODNESS and i was like oh myy ineeda go spend some moneyy soo i deffinatly went on somewhat of a shopping spree.:/ oops! hahah but its okay!:) heres some wicked fun jewlery i bought! i love this ring from charlotte russe for 4$ and these earrings also from charlotte russe for 4$. they have this really cool sale going on where you can buy earrings and rings and jewlery and stuff for like 2 for eight! its awesome! i also applied there and i have an interview tommorow, so WISH ME LUCK!



ALSO, i went into sephora and had a field day, i knwo this is a horrible picture but i bought some really pretty brown eye shadow and i kind of did just a simple like winged out eye look, i have on bene-fits boing concealer and their some-kind- of gorgous foundation with bene-fit badgal lash mascaraaa andddd http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P146217&categoryId=S10501&shouldPaginate=true



anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this blog, ill write again tommorow, have a great day, and remember; your all beautifull in your own ways!!!!!:)

with love,
stephanie lynn<3

FOLLOW MEEEE!!!:))

SOOO, im gonna start putting pitures and videos on here once i get more used to this whole thing, and once more people start following meee!! please follow me! i promise, you wont regret it:)
question for today; whats your favorite past time?

dont forget to smile today, even though maybe not for you guys but here in mass is nice and rainy!:( hahaha.
try and soak up whatever sun you can!:)
with loveee,
stephanie

What do you do on your rainy days?

Oh my goodnes, it has been raining alll dayyyy!!!-
i hope none of you have been feeling as tired and groggy as i have today. i only love the rain if i have to stay inside all day, but other than that, i hate it, i loveee the sunn!!!:) on my rainy days i love to cuddle up all warm in my bed, with some munchies, andd some tea or hot coacoa, and get all comfy and watch a nice movieee:)
anywhoo,
i was just wondering what you guys do on your rainy days, hopefully something fun! let me knowwww!!!:)

what wont kill you will make you stronger!

going for a run seems like a good idea:) i was thikning because im going through a pretty hard time getting through highschool just trying to graduate and get it over with! and i just want all of you too remember;you can work through anything in your life, no matter how hard it seems, even through the pain and the suffering, just remember that what doesnt kill you will make you stronger! haha diddnt mean to quote kanye, but WHATEVER:)
smile today, and soak up the sun!
with love,
stephaniee

nordstrom fail.

okayyy so last night, i went to nordstrom, and iw as very very very disapointed with the store becasue the website has WAYYY cuter dresses! so i diddnt find anything:(
BUT i went to Jc Penny`s and i found some really really fun and cute dresses there, but nothing to wear to prom, jsut fun stuff to try on!:)
If you guys know of any cute stores and websites that have cute dresses let me know, id LOVE to look at them!:)

with love,
stephaniee

okayy so im very very very excited because i got a client for prom!
Ive been trying to ask around to see who would want me to do their make-up for prom, and im not charging, so that i can just get experience i guess! soo thats good.
and on an even BETTER note, my grandmother was in the hospital, and i just found out today, that shes going to be okayy!!:) im sooo happy, i love my grandmother soo much, shes such a beautifull and wise women, shes always enriched me with her knowledge, im so greatful that i have such great people surounding me.
anyways,
so let me explain to you what i plan on talking about on this blog...
i plan to talk about every day experiences i have, things that bother me, things that make me happy, things that i think everyone should think about, ill post questions that i have that im interested to see what other people think.
im also planning on posting some videos on here too!
anyways, im outta here i gotta go get ready for prom dress shopping im SOOO exicted, ill post some of the dresses i looked at on here later! hope you have a great day today!

soak up the sun!
with love,
stephanie lynn

hey guysss!-

okay so this is my firsttt blogg on this, im VERYYY excited to start this, because i want to reach out to different people.

I feel like you can never meet enough people in life, i feel as though life gives you sooo many different opportunites that you MUST take advantage of, so this is what im doing!

anywaysss, so im an aspiring make-up artist, I want to eventually do make-up for movies and photoshoots and really fun stuff like that! so hopefully you`ll stay tuned for this journey of mine! because im going to be posting tons of posts about whats going on, different steps im taking to further this dream for me. im graduating highschool this yearr and i cannnottt wait untill i can get moving on this dream of mine.

one of my biggest inspirations is Kandee Johnson, im sure youve heard of her, shes amazingggggg, she makes me feel better about myself everytime i read one of her blogs, she has such a big heart, with TONS of love in it, and im so greatfull that i came across her on youtube!

OKAY, so here goes, hopefully someone follows on this journey ill be taking!

with loveeeee,

stephaniee